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Lightboxes and unexpected benefits
Jan. 9th, 2012 02:35 pmI've been using my lightbox for almost 2 weeks now. I don't really see a change in my mood, but I have had two unexpected benefits that go toward making my life a little easier. My routine in the morning is now get up at 6:30 (or there about on the weekends), go the bathroom, take my meds and then sit in front of the lightbox. I haven't missed a dose of my meds since I started the therapy. I may not be getting better, but by taking my meds everyday, I'm at least assured of not making it worse by forgetting my meds.
The second benefit is that I haven't been late for work since I started back from my vacation. Although I still piddle around in the morning, I'm up and moving at 7:00ish and getting out the door right around 7:30. I might walk in at 8:00 or 8:01, but that isn't late in my book. Worrying about trying to get to work on time wasn't helping my mood, so again, unexpected benies!
The problem with sitting somewhat still for 30 minutes in morning is that I have time to think. And right now that is a bad thing. I start wondering if the pain in the shoulder is really a heart attack in the making and how I'll never amount to anything and else be stuck in a horrible life, etc. Hence the Angry Birds playing or Mahjong playing. I do do some meditation first thing after I sit down. I found this app when I had my Ipod and there actually several other apps by this group, Meditation Oasis. The first one I tried and liked was Relation and Rest Meditations. I've used this several times. I haven't downloaded it to my new phone, but I found that they have a few others, Simply Being Guided Meditation and Walking Meditation. They have a few others, but those are the 3 I'm most interested in. They are each $.99, so they are cheap for the amount of time I will use them. I've been using the Simply Being Guide Meditation since I bought it. The thing I like about all three is that you can set the time (5, 10, 20, 30 minutes), you can also choose music, rain, ocean and stream. I like the rain and the ocean sounds. The woman who speaks has a nice calm voice and I prefer guided meditations because it helps keep me focused (always an issue with me). Although she says to close your eyes, I can't do that with the lightbox. I stare at a corner of my desk and use that as a focus point. I'm curious to see if I end up being able to extend my time as the weeks go on.
I've got to get back to journaling about my food. I have been all over the place with my eating. While I haven't made an New Year's resolutions, I am trying to get back on track with my eating and journaling.
I need to go to the grocery, but can't until Wednesday (don't get paid until Friday). I'm running out of things both at work and at home so things are going to be interesting as I am forced to use the larder.
Breakfast:
1 mini whole wheat bagel with PB&J
Coke
Mid-morning:
Water
Lunch:
Left over Chicken strips from Applebees (2)
Left over french fries from Applebees
Honey mustard sauce from Applebees
Coke
1 Mini Take 5 candy bar
Mid-afternoon:
Water
I have no idea what I will have for dinner. It will depend on what I feel like fixing when I get home.
I am trying to cut back on my coke use again. I went a lot nuts over my break and I've got to cut back. What I want to do is between every coke I drink I drink a glass of water. It is more than an 8 oz (probably more like 10-12 oz). If nothing else, that means I get 2 glasses of water a day. I might try to remember to have one in the evening. Maybe I'll pour it out and sit it with my meal instead of grabbing 2 cokes and only drinking 1.
I'm also trying to remember to make my turkey sandwich at night, right after I get home. I've been eating Giant Eagle's Maple Turkey, with a slice of 2% American cheese on a sweet whole wheat bun. I add chips and 1 or 2 mini candy bars. It's not great, but it could be a lot worse. I have been trying to let myself eat out on Friday's (One can only handle so much turkey before you start gobbling). I did good last week, but this is a new week, so we'll see. I had leftovers from last Friday today, so when I get home, I'll need to make my sandwich, along with whatever I end up making for myself.
Boy did I do some walking today. I bought some stuff for one of the faculty members and it was in my trunk. We went out to my car this afternoon, got it out and trucked it back to the office. I also ended up having to clear out a paper jam (and add paper to the copier) and go up to the fiscal service center to use the college credit card to order pizza for the grad student seminar. Then I had to take everything down to the classroom. This is a whole lot more walking that I normally do. I made it. I'm working on not slumping, especially when I'm tired and my back hurts. I try to imagine that there is a string coming out of the top of my head and that is what is holding me up. It's hard when my back hurts from the weight I'm carrying. Which makes me depressed,which makes me want to eat to hide away from the depression...do you see a pattern here.
When I'm at work, I'm good about not eating. I might be hungry but if it isn't first thing in the morning/lunch time, I usually wait. Unfortunately today I haven't had enough and I'm hungry. But it is so close to going home to eat I don't want to eat anything until I get home. Thankfully I don't have to stop anywhere tonight so I can go straight home and fix dinner. The more I think about it the more I think I will do eggs, cheese, onions, and maple sausage wrapped in a tortilla and covered in salsa. It's easy, filling and not that messy for me to make.
Although the BCS National Championship game is tonight and I'd love to stay up to watch the whole thing, it doesn't start until 9:00 so it won't be over until after midnight. I'll set the TV to go to sleep and probably fall asleep to Brent Musburger and Kirk Heibstrait (sp?) calling the game. I don't really care either way, they are both SEC teams and I hate the SEC (mostly since the Big 10 is SEC's bitch)...Change of plans. E called me up and invited me to her place to watch the game. And she's cooking. Don't really care what, but if I don't have to cook that is a bonus! So, I'm heading over there for a while. Don't know how long I'll stay, probably just until the game starts and then head home (since I turn into a pumpkin after 9:00, god I've become my mother).
I'd better end before I a) write a novel and b) my computer crashes because it's thinking hard about it.
The second benefit is that I haven't been late for work since I started back from my vacation. Although I still piddle around in the morning, I'm up and moving at 7:00ish and getting out the door right around 7:30. I might walk in at 8:00 or 8:01, but that isn't late in my book. Worrying about trying to get to work on time wasn't helping my mood, so again, unexpected benies!
The problem with sitting somewhat still for 30 minutes in morning is that I have time to think. And right now that is a bad thing. I start wondering if the pain in the shoulder is really a heart attack in the making and how I'll never amount to anything and else be stuck in a horrible life, etc. Hence the Angry Birds playing or Mahjong playing. I do do some meditation first thing after I sit down. I found this app when I had my Ipod and there actually several other apps by this group, Meditation Oasis. The first one I tried and liked was Relation and Rest Meditations. I've used this several times. I haven't downloaded it to my new phone, but I found that they have a few others, Simply Being Guided Meditation and Walking Meditation. They have a few others, but those are the 3 I'm most interested in. They are each $.99, so they are cheap for the amount of time I will use them. I've been using the Simply Being Guide Meditation since I bought it. The thing I like about all three is that you can set the time (5, 10, 20, 30 minutes), you can also choose music, rain, ocean and stream. I like the rain and the ocean sounds. The woman who speaks has a nice calm voice and I prefer guided meditations because it helps keep me focused (always an issue with me). Although she says to close your eyes, I can't do that with the lightbox. I stare at a corner of my desk and use that as a focus point. I'm curious to see if I end up being able to extend my time as the weeks go on.
I've got to get back to journaling about my food. I have been all over the place with my eating. While I haven't made an New Year's resolutions, I am trying to get back on track with my eating and journaling.
I need to go to the grocery, but can't until Wednesday (don't get paid until Friday). I'm running out of things both at work and at home so things are going to be interesting as I am forced to use the larder.
Breakfast:
1 mini whole wheat bagel with PB&J
Coke
Mid-morning:
Water
Lunch:
Left over Chicken strips from Applebees (2)
Left over french fries from Applebees
Honey mustard sauce from Applebees
Coke
1 Mini Take 5 candy bar
Mid-afternoon:
Water
I have no idea what I will have for dinner. It will depend on what I feel like fixing when I get home.
I am trying to cut back on my coke use again. I went a lot nuts over my break and I've got to cut back. What I want to do is between every coke I drink I drink a glass of water. It is more than an 8 oz (probably more like 10-12 oz). If nothing else, that means I get 2 glasses of water a day. I might try to remember to have one in the evening. Maybe I'll pour it out and sit it with my meal instead of grabbing 2 cokes and only drinking 1.
I'm also trying to remember to make my turkey sandwich at night, right after I get home. I've been eating Giant Eagle's Maple Turkey, with a slice of 2% American cheese on a sweet whole wheat bun. I add chips and 1 or 2 mini candy bars. It's not great, but it could be a lot worse. I have been trying to let myself eat out on Friday's (One can only handle so much turkey before you start gobbling). I did good last week, but this is a new week, so we'll see. I had leftovers from last Friday today, so when I get home, I'll need to make my sandwich, along with whatever I end up making for myself.
Boy did I do some walking today. I bought some stuff for one of the faculty members and it was in my trunk. We went out to my car this afternoon, got it out and trucked it back to the office. I also ended up having to clear out a paper jam (and add paper to the copier) and go up to the fiscal service center to use the college credit card to order pizza for the grad student seminar. Then I had to take everything down to the classroom. This is a whole lot more walking that I normally do. I made it. I'm working on not slumping, especially when I'm tired and my back hurts. I try to imagine that there is a string coming out of the top of my head and that is what is holding me up. It's hard when my back hurts from the weight I'm carrying. Which makes me depressed,which makes me want to eat to hide away from the depression...do you see a pattern here.
When I'm at work, I'm good about not eating. I might be hungry but if it isn't first thing in the morning/lunch time, I usually wait. Unfortunately today I haven't had enough and I'm hungry. But it is so close to going home to eat I don't want to eat anything until I get home. Thankfully I don't have to stop anywhere tonight so I can go straight home and fix dinner. The more I think about it the more I think I will do eggs, cheese, onions, and maple sausage wrapped in a tortilla and covered in salsa. It's easy, filling and not that messy for me to make.
Although the BCS National Championship game is tonight and I'd love to stay up to watch the whole thing, it doesn't start until 9:00 so it won't be over until after midnight. I'll set the TV to go to sleep and probably fall asleep to Brent Musburger and Kirk Heibstrait (sp?) calling the game. I don't really care either way, they are both SEC teams and I hate the SEC (mostly since the Big 10 is SEC's bitch)...Change of plans. E called me up and invited me to her place to watch the game. And she's cooking. Don't really care what, but if I don't have to cook that is a bonus! So, I'm heading over there for a while. Don't know how long I'll stay, probably just until the game starts and then head home (since I turn into a pumpkin after 9:00, god I've become my mother).
I'd better end before I a) write a novel and b) my computer crashes because it's thinking hard about it.
